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chaos and order

views that order can not exist without chaos

Have you ever looked at your life and realized that where there used to be order, there is now chaos. All my life I've had some kind of order and stability and in the blink of an eye it turned to chaos. I think we all have a point where things just have to change, no matter what we want. I have avoided change all my life and tried my hardest to remain in the familiar, but I've come to realize in the past several days that sometimes chaos is better than order, change better than the familiar.

In the past week I've come to appreciate my new disorder. It gives you the chance to reorganize life, to make things better or worse. I've met my mother for the first time in ten years and looking at her mistakes, I've discovered that running from change is the only way to make things truly worse. She ran from her mother and now I am the only one in the family who accepts her. Its ironic, because I'm the only one who really has a right to hate her, but it turns out that I'm the only one who truly loves her. Don Henley once said that the heart of the matter is forgiveness. Maybe thats also the key to life. Maybe if we all would just freely forgive, then our lives wouldn't have to be so hard. Maybe there wouldn't be so much hurt. Maybe the world might even be a better place.

Jesus Christ said that we should treat each other as we would also like to be treated, and can anyone truly say that they wouldn't want to be forgiven. I'm not a big proponent for traditional Christianity, but that one statement is common sense. If you treat people like shit, people will treat you like shit. You can't tell me that that doesnt make sense, whether you are Buddhist or atheist.

Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but it may be possible that order is born from chaos. I think we all should go through our own personal chaos and then we may find not only order, but also truth and forgiveness. Change is a gift from life, not a curse. It gives us a chance to make our lives into that which we desire. The familiar may be more comfortable, but chaos is definitely the catalyst to bring us into the realm of greatness. Find chaos and happiness may not be too far away.


thank you for looking at my writings!

signed:J.J. Johnson III