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the lying truth

a conclusion came to in ecstasy

ok, i personally think that this is kinda weird but i may be wrong, but then again i may be right, the point is i dont know if im the only one who does this or not, anyways, back to the point. whenever i have sex, afterwards, my mind seems to want to go into extreme overdrive. so the otherday, laying next to my lover in bed, i couldnt stop it. my brain pulsed with so much electricity that i thought it would explode. it started with thinking about how great the one next to me was, but somehow or another, before i knew it, i was thinking about different religions and what have you. i came to the conclusion under a cloud of confusion that nobody really knows, this is a world of random chaotic event that coincidently unfold in a trail of time we call our lives. if im anything, im buddhist. buddah teaches to simply better yourself at everything you do. it teaches to treat others well, and, very important, it teaches all of its followers to question everything, including buddhism it self, this is what allows some buddist to stretch into other religions. my theory on religion is that most people, although thinking that there searching for somekind of truth, are truly just trying to find somekind of comfort. a sense of belonging. it is because of this that it is hard for me to believe any religion. eversince i was able to finaly rebel against what i was taught and finally figured out i had a mind of my own, ive questioned everything and everyone around me. some might call this paranoia, me included. if i myself am seeking comfort in religion, such as buddhism or christianity, which promises an after life of some sort. people have trouble accepting that they die. its inevitable, it will happen. the code of bushido says that humanity should meditate on inevitable death on a daily basis. this builds up a "immunity" to the fear. this of course is not perfectly true, at least not all the way, it is possible to get used to the idea, but all fear cannot be wiped out.anyways. ..........seemed to have lost my train of thought. the point is that nobody truly knows the truth. although, it is possible to know the truth. knowledge is unlimited. so if one does know, what will happen. that person could, in himself and in eyes of others, become a god. a phrase i came up with some time ago is "when heaven and earth harmonize, a great one will emerge." heaven being mind, and earth being body. if you train both on a daily basis, whos to say that is impossible to become a god. this, of course, goes against all southern baptist morals i was raised on. to go off of subject a little, to any christians reading this, shut up. ive tried christianity, for many many years, im not saying that there isnt a God, im just saying that i dont know, and neither do you. neither does the dali lama, neither does all of the atheist you despise so much. who knows, i might try christianity again in the future, but for now, i think ill try my hand at buddhism. anyways, i guess the whole point of this rant, is to say that the truth is out there (x-files theme playing in the background) we just have to find it, when heaven and earth harmonize.....what will happen?


thank you for looking at my writings!

signed:J.J. Johnson III